Thursday, March 4, 2010

Kat Von Fail

OK. Celebrity heroines fail. I've seen it time and time again.

Gwen Stefani was my idol in high school. She preached the riot grrl lifestyle and I listened with the wide eyes of an adoring adolescent: DIY/reconstructed clothing, retro make-up, pizza and beer.



Fast forward to 2004. Not only does her solo album stink, Gwen is displaying her new size 3 body in designer couture. .



I salute her glory days and repress any traces of Love Angel Music Baby from my subconscious

Since then, other celebrity bad girls have caught my attention. Brody Dalle, frontwoman of The Distillers and more contemporarily Spinnerette, has eschewed her mohawk and leather in favor of mommy-friendly attire. That's fine- maybe I'll be a mom someday and won't give a shit to apply lipstick. Lady Gaga is fun but she's essentially a joke and Madonna is simply to old and desperate to be relevant anymore.

Tonight I set eyes upon LA Ink for the first time in several years and am made aware of the abomination that had become Kat Von D.



A nose job. How very LA. Shame on me for thinking that you stood for something beyond prototypical beauty ideals.

It was hard enough to stomach your Sephora concealer ads....



Implicit caption: "Look at me. Don't I clean up nice?" Tattoo industry insiders are quick to shit on chicks with 'tramp stamps' and guys with tribal tattoos, but what can you say about the artist who advocates covering it up?

Celebrity idol worship is empty and meaningless and any idiot can tell you that, but this critical feminist gives a fuck about women in the public eye who at least appear to resist the temptation to sell out, suck up and conform.

You wound me, Kat. I'm ashamed to have bought your makeup in the belief that you promoted alternative beauty ideals for women. Enjoy your new nose and think not of the legions of women you have sorely disappointed.

2 comments:

.Elle Schell. said...

Uck, I read this post in disgust, not for the writing (which was a beaut by the by) but because I fully agree. I was just talking about Gwen Stefani the other night and how sad I was at what she'd become. If I could meet her I'd shake my head and just say "You've changed man, you've changed. You stood for something, then you got rich and stupid. I'm sorry we can't be friends anymore".
As for Kat Von D the woman has always been completely media hungry,trend influenced and generally air brained. I remember watching Miami Ink once and she dedicated an entire episode to "getting healthy",quitting smoking, running etc etc... funny thing about that episode is how much product endorsement was plastered all over it. The next week she was back in her rocker gear, smoking her Marlboros, donning a little less Nike then before. So am I surprised that she sold out her art covered body for 1-more publicity and 2-more money ? No, not in the least. Surprised would be an overstatement when looking for the word to describe my reaction her nose job, but hey, it's Hollywood, that's what all the cool airheads are doing now.They're all the same shitheads just cut from different cloth. Just ask Heidi Montaggg or whatever the fuck her name is, I'm sure she was referenced when Kat was searching for a good plastic surgeon.

Kold_Kadavr_flatliner said...

Hey, girl, don't git so hatefull to others. You're a sinfull mortal like me. We all have to croak. So better git-off this whorizontal playing field and look to the future Upstairs where I'll be --- Nevertheless, once you're past all your angst, wanna nekk in Heaven, girl? I'll be having a BIG-ol, kick-ass, party-hardy, too, celebrating our resurrection beyond the clouds. Meet me Upstairs, gorgeous --- Who am I? I’m just a dude who’s in love with Heaven. God blessa youse -Fr. Sarducci, ol SNL.