it could happen to YOU!

I've been seeing late-night TV commercials advertising a free weekend promotion at eHarmony.com. I actually considered checking it out for a split second before I recognized that I am not actually prepared to abandon my superficial, materialistic standards (wearers of Ed Hardy: need not apply) for a "real connection". Not yet. Talk to me when I'm 35.

I know not one, but two people who have found ads posted for themselves on Craigslist Toronto's "missed connections". TWO. Both are attractive, outgoing people who have no difficulty picking up girls the old-fashioned way ("old-fashioned way" meaning face-to-face. That's old fashioned now) but they were both compelled to contact the anonymous posters who recounted the circumstances of their meeting on the internet for all to see; one at a bar and the other at their place of work.

Spring is indeed in the air but if you find yourself lonely from time to time, why not check out Toronto's missed connections and look up your favorite bus stop, coffee shop, gym or office building. You may have caught someone's attention.

miscreant

Adjective, (comparative more miscreant, superlative most miscreant)

1.Lacking in conscience or moral principles; unscrupulous.
2.(theology) Holding an incorrect religious belief.

Noun, (Singular: miscreant, Plural: miscreants)

1.One who has behaved badly, or illegally.
The teacher sent the miscreants to see the school principal.
2.One not restrained by moral principles; an unscrupulous villain.
3.(theology) One who holds an incorrect religious belief; an unbeliever.

Kat Von Fail

OK. Celebrity heroines fail. I've seen it time and time again.

Gwen Stefani was my idol in high school. She preached the riot grrl lifestyle and I listened with the wide eyes of an adoring adolescent: DIY/reconstructed clothing, retro make-up, pizza and beer.



Fast forward to 2004. Not only does her solo album stink, Gwen is displaying her new size 3 body in designer couture. .



I salute her glory days and repress any traces of Love Angel Music Baby from my subconscious

Since then, other celebrity bad girls have caught my attention. Brody Dalle, frontwoman of The Distillers and more contemporarily Spinnerette, has eschewed her mohawk and leather in favor of mommy-friendly attire. That's fine- maybe I'll be a mom someday and won't give a shit to apply lipstick. Lady Gaga is fun but she's essentially a joke and Madonna is simply to old and desperate to be relevant anymore.

Tonight I set eyes upon LA Ink for the first time in several years and am made aware of the abomination that had become Kat Von D.



A nose job. How very LA. Shame on me for thinking that you stood for something beyond prototypical beauty ideals.

It was hard enough to stomach your Sephora concealer ads....



Implicit caption: "Look at me. Don't I clean up nice?" Tattoo industry insiders are quick to shit on chicks with 'tramp stamps' and guys with tribal tattoos, but what can you say about the artist who advocates covering it up?

Celebrity idol worship is empty and meaningless and any idiot can tell you that, but this critical feminist gives a fuck about women in the public eye who at least appear to resist the temptation to sell out, suck up and conform.

You wound me, Kat. I'm ashamed to have bought your makeup in the belief that you promoted alternative beauty ideals for women. Enjoy your new nose and think not of the legions of women you have sorely disappointed.